We’ve all been there: A friend asks you for a ride to the airport and you really don’t want to do it. (My friend Kevin asks me all the time!) Well pick any of these ready-made excuses and you’ll be delightfully sleeping in instead of driving down the 405 on a Tuesday morning!
1“I’m going to this gallery opening the night before on Fairfax.”
No way I can get up early the next morning with all that late-night art-watching.
2“Oh it’s a Tuesday morning? Aw shucks I got Yoga-in-the-Park on Tuesdays.”
Bummer! But I just can’t miss my donation-funded stretching at Griffith. Come on Kevin you KNOW I do that every Tuesday!
3“I’d love to but I have some freelance editing I have to do!”
This web series about how tough it is to be an actor isn’t going to edit itself.
4“Pazzo Gelato has their avocado flavor that day and I have to get in line early!”
They’ll be out in a half hour and I’ll have to wait another MONTH. Sure this might seem petty, but you don’t have any business telling me what aspects of my life I need to prioritize over others, Kevin.
5“I’ve Got This Thing!”
It’ll be tough to get out of sorry!
6“I already drove you to LAX two months ago, Kevin. Who are you Anthony Bourdain?”
If you can afford five vacations a year you can afford a damn Uber.
7“I’m driving other people to LAX as a Lyft driver.”
They’re paying me in cash, not in vague promises of a dinner that will never happen. Come on Kevin I’m still waiting on that Korean BBQ you promised..
8“I don’t get enough out of our friendship to justify this.”
I’d rather just end the friendship now if it’s all the same to you.
9“SERIOUSLY KEVIN WE MET AT A PARTY LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO AND HAD COFFEE TWICE SO WE REALLY HAVEN’T REACHED THE POINT IN OUR QUASI-FRIENDSHIP WHERE IT’S APPROPRIATE TO ASK THIS OF ME.”
FUCK YOU KEVIN.
10“I have to go shopping at The Grove.”
You know how long that can take!
