Humanity’s story, by now, has been well-established: the overcoming of significant odds in pursuit of achieving that which our forbearers insisted impossible. Our latest chapter is owed to Nathan Brandt, thirty-three year old LASIK sales representative of Pasadena, who survived a .3 mile odyssey down Beverly towards the faraway journey’s end of El Coyote Mexican Cafe.
Facing stark conditions, with frigid, unforgiving temperatures ranging from the mid to upper sixties, equipped with only a Patagonia jacket and step-by-step walking instructions on his iPhone 6, Brandt trudged through a pummeling mild breeze, for nearly six impossible minutes, before arriving at the restaurant to meet friends for El Coyote’s signature Enchilada Howard and an Ultimate Margarita.
“I never thought we’d see Brandt again”, shuddered Paul Yount, longtime colleague of the conqueror. “Dude parked all the way on Gardner. Can’t even imagine.”
Daniel Blankschtein, Professor of Thermodynamics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, expressed his astonishment, “As remarkable as the human body is, it’s simply not built to endure such a rigorous expedition. Nathan Brandt is nothing short of a miracle”.
After catching his breath, and whisking away what looked like flecks of ice from his beard, the explorer explained the inspiration for his journey into the great unknown, “I found a meter that wasn’t enforced after 8pm, and figured I’d hang on to the $3.50 El Coyote charges to valet”.
The extraordinary man added, “$3.50 really adds up”.
As of press time, Brandt was seen in the lobby of El Coyote awaiting a Lyft to transport him the four blocks back to his parking spot.
