It used to be that when you walked into a hamburger joint, you only had one choice: a hamburger! Now, at places like In-N-Out, customers have so much choice that they’re not just limited to the items on the menu. This “secret menu” at In-N-Out has become so well known that people seem to have forgotten the other not-so-secret one? You know, the one that you can actually read when you show up in the store? Don’t worry if you don’t know what we’re talking about. We’ve gone through the trouble of picking out 5 things from this menu that you have to try.
Remember this? This is a hamburger with cheese on it. It’s good. Just order this, you can stop reading right here if you want.
While you were busy figuring out how many patties you could conceivably eat, it probably slipped your mind that two is the maximum number of patties a normal fucking human would order.
Do you walk in to Yamashiro and tell the chefs how to prepare the food? No? Then let the In-N-Out workers cook the fries like normal, you well done loving control freak.
5. Milkshake
Pick one flavor just like the rest of society. You may know Neapolitan means of or relating to Naples, but in this case, it directly translates to “be a goddamned adult and stop mixing all of your drink flavors together like a fucking 10 year old.”
So there you have it.
5 menu items from the actual not-so-secret menu that you can try. If none of those sound appetizing to you, then you don’t really like hamburgers and you should go find a restaurant that serves only pickles covered in animal style spread, and realize that your feeble attempts to control your world are utterly insignificant as the rest of your life continues to spiral into an endless void of meaninglessness.
