Step aside Elon Musk, because sources confirmed entrepreneurial genius and ride-sharing professional, Carl Kilgore, accepts fares from both Uber and Lyft.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said passenger Lindsay Harper, remarking on her initial bewilderment upon seeing a Prius with multiple placards on the windshield’s lower-right corner. “He said he’ll have them both open at the same time. But once he gets a fare in one app, he immediately closes the other so his acceptance rate doesn’t go down. Knowing my driver saw the world in such a different and interesting way made my ride a real treat. It was like being driven to Fat Sal’s by the next Steve Jobs.”

While checking on his undoubtedly deep bank accounts, Kilgore confirmed his paradigm-shifting system. “Am I changing what it means to be a ride-hailing professional? I dunno. I do believe I’m doing important work, and history will show that.”

UCLA economics professor Dr. Simone Van Dyke indicated Kilgore showed promise from the moment he audited his 101 Econ class he never ended up taking. “He just sat in the back row recording my lecture but he had headphones on, which I felt was unusual. So, I approached him after class and asked why. Turns out he was also taking notes on a different Econ 101 lecture he purchased online while simultaneously recording my lecture. Two classes at once. I thought ‘This guy’s going places. I can’t wait to have him in my class.’ Of course, only one of those things ended up happening.”

“I don’t want awards,” said Kilgore via e-mail. “That’s not why I’m doing this. I know change starts with one man. And sometimes… sometimes I think I just may be that man.”