It took only three hours in Joshua Tree for a group of stone cold sober Echo Park residents to realize the desert was not a spiritual oasis a previous mushroom trip had convinced them it was, but a excruciatingly boring wasteland. They would all describe themselves as spiritual individuals, an attribute they credit to their week long trip to Thailand, so despite forgetting their psilocybin mushrooms and marijuana at home, they felt obligated to continue their collective spiritual quest in a sober state.
Without a heightened mindset, the desert rocks and shrubs contained the inspirational power of your average drought friendly garden. Attempting to convince herself and others that the landscape was majestic, Sarah Hanover offered a line she remembered from watching Planet Earth high as fuck, “You can see the power of mother nature’s wind in these irregular rock formations, if you listen closely you can hear her gentle whistle.”
That whistle was the beginning of a severe dust storm, which they attempted to embrace. But, dust storms can cause serious respiratory damage to those who experience prolonged exposure, a fact that quickly became clear without a constant stream of joints to blame their coughing on.
Though it was 87 degrees upon arrival, the temperature quickly dropped to the low 40s after sunset. Lacking the adrenaline that comes with a mushroom trip, and having worn mostly loose fabrics and bandanas, the group was forced to use their yoga mats for warmth.
While engaged in quiet meditation, they secretly pondered their desperate desire to leave this barren hellscape. Ten minutes of uncomfortable silence later, Ms. Hanover reportedly noticed a scorpion crawling up her leg and freaked out. She exclaimed, “Fuck this dusty death trap! Mother nature is a Bitch! And I’m not spiritual, I just like really like tripping balls!”
Relieved that someone had finally said what they had all been thinking, they packed up, and spent the night in a nearby motel. Fortunately, the night was not a total bust, as they were able to purchase weed from a teenage busboy at the local Denny’s.