“Of course I’m not buying it for the naked women and sex parties,” exclaimed Los Angeles business executive Grant Weber, who put in an offer today on Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion. “There are a lot of fascinating pieces of furniture, art, and other assorted articles throughout the mansion. The place has a lot of history.”
The $200 million estate was recently put on the market by Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner, who has turned the Holmby Hills mansion into an infamous party house by hosting lavish parties featuring scantily clad women since the 1970s.
But none of this legacy concerns Grant Weber, who doubled down on his claim that he’s in it for the estate’s comparatively-boring articles. “I mean I’m married, right? So obviously I’m buying it for cultural reasons,” Weber continued in a stream of unsolicited, nervous rambling, “and the chance to partake in a sex orgy or at minimum see some big, beautiful boobies in person? Totally just something that happens to be included! I swear!”
Grant Weber started a small restaurant business in 1993, and has since joined a luxurious Los Angeles hotel company in a high-paid executive role. He married Debra Weber in 2004, who supports his decision to purchase the vagina-soaked palace. “He doesn’t even like porn,” Debra told the press, “I know because he’s told me on dozens of occasions. Usually when I find the porn that our seven-year-old son must have gotten off the internet and saved in my husband’s personal folders.”
When pressed for more information on these “articles” that interest him, Weber began ranting into the microphones in a sweat-drenched terror. “I mean the place was built in the 1920s I think and some of the chandeliers could be from World War I or something I don’t know I’m getting tired maybe I should end this interview right now and go to bed.” He had no further comment.
