An ongoing murder investigation at a rented out Italian restaurant has not been the thrilling, comedy-filled journey of mystery and twists that was initially anticipated, patrons said Monday.
“The salmon was microwaved too long and it’s very dry,” said Joanna Hayes, a party planner from Encino, “A meal of this quality is probably worth $14, and thats mostly due to the free refills on Pepsi.”
The Supper Scrutineer describes the event on it’s website as, “a fine dining event filled with mystery and comedy, and a bargain at $90 for the three hour dinner,” but the guests disagree.
“The comedy is fucking stupid,” said Norman Robertson, another diner at Hayes’ table. “They keep saying stuff like, ‘I know you’re dying for the main course.’ And, ‘I haven’t a clue where your waiter is.’ They’re not even landing on the joke!”
As the owner and lead investigator of The Supper Scrutineer, Dean Hoffman, discovered the murder weapon, the 90 guests had already figured out who the “murder” was. “It’s that kid with the fake mustache, he was the only one missing when the murder happened,” said Hayes.
But, the patrons were hot on another mystery. Robertson speculated, “This quality entertainment should be free, but even if it costs the same as a movie, $20, it still doesn’t add up… what did we pay $90 for? Were we had?”
Another guest added, “I had to pay for my own cocktails.”
At press time, the Supper Scrutineer was searching for an audience volunteer, but only found people asking for their money back.
