“I mean, I’m sure a Trump presidency would be a disaster. But, I’d support that border wall if it means getting home from Whole Foods without my gelato melting,” says Danny Ludwig, a lifetime liberal who, like a small but growing number of residents of the westside, has decided to switch to the Republican Party.
A study from the RAND Corporation released today has sent shockwaves through the political landscape. “72 hours after Obama leaves Los Angeles, the number of registered Republicans shoots up in areas most impacted by the traffic caused by the visit,” said lead researcher Harold Carpenter, “We call it the ‘Obamajam Effect.’”
“My friend Sarah saw a flyer from the Republican party when she was at my house. She couldn’t believe it.” Ludwig continued, “Then it took her two hours to get from Santa Monica to Brentwood because Obama was flying in. Next day, she called me and said, ‘Well, Kasich seems pretty reasonable, right?’”
The Obamajam Effect is reaching all over Los Angeles, Donald Matthews, an LADOT Employee, was suspended from his job after changing a digital sign to read, “Hate traffic? Vote Carson.” “My job is alleviate traffic on roads, but all the bike lanes in the world aren’t going to help with this.” Matthews said after being suspended, “Sure, he’ll probably spend billions building pyramids in the Central Valley to store crops. But, that’s Fresno’s problem.”
While some are dismissing the “Obamajam Effect” as a statistical anomaly, one person who isn’t is Eric C. Bauman, Chairman of the Los Angeles County Democratic Party. “I spent an hour on the phone this morning begging Hilary not to have a fundraiser. I don’t even know how to do my job anymore.”
On Tuesdays, Ludwig runs a support group for those new to the Republican Party at a Starbucks in Malibu. “Look nobody wants to be here, if there was any other option we would have found it. But we can all take some solace in the fact that with all the gridlock in Washington, it’s not like a president can do that much.”
