Patrick Wharton, a straight, white male, woke up in a panic yesterday morning, fearing that his reign in Hollywood might soon be over. Patrick, 29, is a classic hyphenate actor who also writes and produces, and genuinely believes that the industry no longer cares for the artistic perspective of a straight, white guy.
“Look, we’ve had it good for a while, a long while. But all good things have to come to an end,” Patrick bemoaned. “With all the Oscar controversy this year concerning the lack of diversity, the pendulum is bound to swing the other way. I just don’t see how white guys stand a chance in this day and age.”
Steve Rogers, Patrick’s straight, white roommate and an actor as well, agrees. “I’m all for diversity, and I’m definitely not suggesting that being Hispanic, African American, Asian or LGBT in this industry is a cake walk, but, it’s like, come on, what about the straight, white dudes?”
Actor’s Access, a popular casting resource for up and coming actors, has seen a 20 % drop in caucasian roles over the last three years. Many television networks, including NBC and CBS, also regularly offer diversity showcases for actors and writers of different ethnic backgrounds.
“I think part of it is that all the stories for a straight, white male have been told,” theorized Patrick. “How many times can we see the neurotic, mild-mannered 20-something go after Zooey Deschanel?” Patrick later added, “don’t get me wrong, I’m proud that the industry is making an effort to be inclusive of all backgrounds. I just hope that a heterosexual, average white guy like me still gets a shot.”
When we approached Patrick for a follow-up, he was too busy not making a UCB Harold team and blaming it on the maximum allotment of white people.
